Emotional Spillovers

I sucked at midterms. What is new. People think (by people I mean the non-accounting majors) that when we (by we I mean the accounting majors) say accounting is hard, we’re either bluffing or just being plain cocky. I know most college students have their own bitter pill when it comes to hard courses but I think (with no bias) that ours is of a different dimension.

This might be helpful to high school seniors who are thinking of taking up Accountancy.

You see, most people say that Accounting is boring. Numbers. A lonely place to die. A good place to be fat and depressed. The truth is, it is. Sorry to burst your pretentious bubble but Accounting is really hard and so is Engineering, Nursing, etc. Cliche as it is, nothing worthwhile is ever easy, right?

A word of advice though. If you were smart in high school, chances are you’ll be dumb as rock in Accounting. Except for the really exceptional cases *cough* Glenn Santos *cough*, nobody ever really gets the answer easily. It will take most Accounting majors I know hours and hours of not just memorizing but most importantly analyzing. As we all know, the latter puts so much more stress on the brain than the former. That is why a minute of an attempt to solve an Accounting problem whether Cost Accounting or Financial Accounting, ends up in an empty stomach and a nasty migraine. That is why every quiz is a physical and mental challenge.

This is my personal experience and I do not impose it on anybody. But truth is, I’ve been having a hard time and it’s not because I didn’t try enough. Most days I question the reason why I’m tapping a calculator rather than putting words on paper but it is what it is. I have learned to love my course because I know that it is hard to find a job everywhere. But most CPAs I know have jobs offers right after college and more job opportunities after they pass the board. Accounting majors have jobs everywhere. It may not be the most valid argument for choosing a degree, but in this tough economy, it is good enough for me.

I just hope I do better before this semester ends.

I don’t have time to blog right now. This is going to be a really quick post. January is about to end. It’s been a good month; nothing really erratic or special.

I’ve been slacking as usual. Oh no, scratch that. My slacking is nothing near usual. I’ve been slacking a lot.

It’s my way of giving myself time to grieve. But then again, is it?

I wasn’t able to enroll myself to the gym like I wanted to; never jogged because of my allergies and upper respiratory infection; not even finished the first chapter of my manuscript; report for work not yet done; spent so much money this month I can’t even give you a number (why should I anyway?); not even bought a phone; cancelled the Camiguin trip because of midterm week conflict. 

What is life.

February, I promise you’ll be way better than my January slacker-fatty-sickly-emotional-irritable-compulsive-buying self. There I said it.

• Church as usual
• Went shopping as usual. I can’t help it when I come home and the cupboards and ref are not stocked with anything except nothing. I always buy groceries for my old man right here.
• Bought a watch! Liz Claiborne, New York.
• I am just as vain as my father. Never tell him he has eyebags. He’ll freak out.
• My brother has a new pet snake. Read again. I can’t believe it either.
• Bath and Body Works Apple Citrus Lotion is heaven.
• Had my lenses fixed.

Look, I’ve got so many things running through my head right now. I know I’m a mess & I look like shit but I can’t smile & pretend I’m okay.

angelify:

irish dance and chinese calligraphy

I asked for a dream with you, you never gave it to me. Each night I went to sleep hoping you’ll come by and see me.

But this morning, I just knew you were there. I knew you woke me up today. I cannot explain how and why I just woke up in the middle of the night. 2:40 on the 16th. It’s been a month.

I still miss you. 

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I almost puked into my teacher’s face today. I know. I’m gross. The washroom was at the end of the hall so I had to scamper off and keep the vomit in. That’s the worst feeling ever. Vomit is supposed to be expelled immediately; no time for storage in your mouth. Eww. I hate the smell of my own vomit. 

So I went home and called it a day. I slept then coughed then vomited. 

Finally, I decided I’ll go to the XU clinic around 2:00pm. I was scared for my life! I thought I was going to be dehydrated and die. I thought, why not? My mom’s waiting for me out there. Just kidding, I need to stay alive.

Gladly, the XU clinic accommodated me (they should, I pay them a lot of money every sem). Apparently, I was taking too much antibiotic since I’ve been coughing for a month now. Doctor said I was verging on overdose. Gawd.

Allergy. And upper respiratory tract infection. No chicken, peanuts, and I forgot the rest.

But I missed my classes today. Le sigh.

L-R: Chantal, Jessa, Jafe, Moi, Alyssa

Plus Xang (leftmost). Busy ang working girl. Haha.

More pictures after the jump!

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I’m trying to write something profound but nothing else occupies my mind right now except the thought that I am starting another life. It feels like a part of me died and it did. I am not whole anymore and I will never be. I can pretend to be okay but loneliness will still get the best of me. 

I can try to describe how sunken I feel. There’s a pit at the bottom of my heart that will never be patched no matter how happy I will be. Somehow, I find comfort in the fact that I’m alive; that I can go on to do things that my Mom would have wanted to do; that even though I have the rest of my life without her, I also have the rest of my life with the remainder of my family. 

When I’m sad, I watch Grey’s Anatomy. I doesn’t make me feel better but it lets me know that I’m not a special case; that I should carry on because all over the world there are people just like me, and even worse.

Aguilaz Year-end Lunch Party!

Pre-lunch. Catching up. Internet. Videoke.

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We are all entitled to sit in the couch, watch TV and cry our eyes out over some petty voice over or movie dialogue that seemed to be ripped straight off our lives.

We are all entitled to watch the rain fall and curse the clouds that brought them here.

We are all entitled to watch How I Met Your Mother and wonder how the hell a single episode stitched the plot into each character and every single character managed to relate to your current life. Goosebumps and tears.

We are all entitled to ask why Ashton Kutcher is always half naked in Two and A Half Men.

We are all entitled to bitch about how cliched the jokes are on Two Broke Girls.

We are all entitled to finish a whole bottle of wine and want some more.

We are all entitled to look into the future and ask “How hard can it be?”

I think we can all agree: 2011 sucked. It was a big stupid year full of big stupid things. All around, it was just stupid.

Finally, though, 2012 is just around the corner. Now, we can pretend that 2011 never happened and look forward to the Mayan apocalypse.